Thoughts on God, Religion, and Community

So a friend asked me recently for an update on where I am with God these days. As long as I'm answering the question, I thought I'd get some blog mileage out of it.

In 2006, I walked away from Christianity as I understood it. After more than 10 years in the evangelical community, something inside me broke, and I just couldn't do it anymore. The catalyst for this process was the loss of my job at Willow Creek Community Church, but it was just the first of many steps towards where I am now. That process itself is well-documented elsewhere, so I won't repeat too much of it here. But I'm happy to share with anybody who doesn't know the story. One book that helped me get through this process was "The End of Faith" by Sam Harris.



I will say that the most difficult part of the process was not the loss of my belief system, but rather the loss of community once I decided to go public with my decision. You see, my life was church. I worked for the church. I attended the services there. I volunteered for the church when I wasn't working. I ate at the church. And once (I think only once) I even slept at the church.

Everything in the evangelical community is built around the premise that Jesus is the only way to God. You can mess up in a lot of areas and still be okay with the powers that be. But you cannot walk away from this premise. It is the "unforgiveable sin" - perhaps not biblically, but at the very least socially. Not accepting this viewpoint is tolerated among those who have just started to attend while they are being assimilated into the church, but if you are in a leadership position, not so much.

I can't fault the institution for this unwritten rule, any more than I can fault Chicago for being cold in winter. I had questioned the very foundation that the church, all churches, are built upon. If indeed there was some other way to be "right with God", then Christ died for no reason.

It's not that I was excommunicated or anything like that. There was just less to talk about with people there. I no longer prayed the same prayers. Or read the same books. Or sang the same songs. Even in a 7000 seat auditorium, I just felt alone. So eventually I stopped going.

So what do I believe now? Well, I believe in God. Not the God of the Bible, or the Torah, or the Koran. I don't even know if that's the right word to use to address him/her/it. But I believe that there has to be an uncaused cause. Something that existed before the universe and time. I just don't believe anymore in trying to define who he is, or in trying to figure out what he wants from us. These are things we cannot know, and anybody who claims otherwise is trying to disguise speculation as fact.

I believe that faith in something greater, even when misguided, can help people to become better versions of themselves. Not because of any supernatural assistance, but because of the way beliefs interact with the human mind.

I believe that religion, however, is a conversation stopper when it comes to many of the important moral and ethical dilemmas of our time, particularly when it comes to peace in the Middle East. Religious fundamentalists on both sides interpret the texts literally, and religious moderates (i.e. normal churchgoers) give them cover to do so. Perhaps no film has come closer to capturing this unending cycle than Ridley Scott's "Kingdom of Heaven".



I still believe in God. I believe in prayer. I believe in finding centeredness. I believe in right and wrong. I believe in compassion. I believe that there are some universal truths, even if I do not fully understand what they are.

But as Sam Harris said, I see no reason for us to expect to survive our religious differences indefinitely. As a 21st century global society, I believe that we can have religion or we can have peace. But we cannot have both. Between the two I am compelled to choose peace. It is something that I fight for daily in small ways. I refuse to stand idly by and wait for the world to end, especially when there are groups and individuals who are actively hoping, praying, and working towards that goal.

When all is said and done, I think God will understand that.

I try not to get into religious debates, because it's difficult to sell "I don't know" to someone who is certain that they do know. I still have friends of all faiths, and many of them are doing great things in their respective corners of the world. Some do these things because they feel God wants them to. Others do them simply because they choose to. Whatever their motivations, though, it's nice to not feel alone and once again have a sense of community.